he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
