Tell her she can't have a vagina
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
