Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
