very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Shame is for Republicans.
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