It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
