I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I'm always down for nudity.
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