Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
