I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
