my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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