i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
