Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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