Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
