a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
