You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Who died my cat blue again?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
