even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
