You made me cry and you don't even care
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
