i permit you to call me
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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