the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
