North Korea, Best Korea!
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
