Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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