a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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