We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
