its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
