How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
