I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
