Can i not drive my cunt home
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
