I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I think I won the penis lottery.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
