She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
