i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
My balls are so social today.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
