she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize
