You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
