The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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