I wish my penis had an off switch
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
