We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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