do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
