And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
