I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
