Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
