yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
