Banned from zoo.
Again?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
