his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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