like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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