Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
