bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
