Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
