i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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