so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
