Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
