Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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