The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
