I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Do vagina's smell?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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