After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We had sex on a dog bed..
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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