We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
