Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I checked into jail on foursquare
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
They took my balls.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
