Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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